30 of the Best Most Humorous Weight Loss Quotes

by Millie
humorous weight loss quotes
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Who doesn’t need a little humor in these challenging times? I have been collecting weight loss quotes for quite some time, and I recently shared my most inspirational quotes. Today I reached into my treasure chest and pulled out 30 of the most humorous weight loss quotes.  

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and we overweight people could use all the free medicine we can get! And we burn a few calories at the same time laughing at these funny diet quotes!

Researchers at Vanderbilt Unversity found that we can burn about 10 – 40 calories laughing for 10-15 minutes. Okay, so that is not a lot of calories, but you are also increasing your heart rate and metabolism. And it is definitely better than crying. 

Also read The 7 Best Inspirational Weight Loss Tips

If you like one of these humorous weight loss quotes pins, just hover above it and you will see the pin it button to pin on Pinterest. Also, there are some funny diet quotes that you can tweet directly from the post.

Why is it so hard to diet?

We have all been on those diets where all the joy and pleasure was taken out of every meal. If these funny diet quotes speak to you, you have my permission to change your diet!

Heart doctor’s funny diet quote

The heart doctor’s diet: If this tastes good, spit it out.

A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry.  

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.    

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some of which weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted far better than most of the diet plans. 

I followed a diet one time; nonetheless it didn’t follow back again, so I unfollowed it.

The Beginning of the Diet

You know when the first few days of your diet is also the last few days? These following humorous weight loss quotes will take you back to those good old days!

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first 4 hours of a diet. 

The second day of any diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you are off it. 

The Love-Hate Relationship with the Scale

When the numbers on the scale are not moving or going in the wrong direction, I get a little joy from these hilarious diet quotes knowing that I not alone in the struggle.

Two weeks on a diet funny weight loss quote

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is 14 days.

I put the scale within the bathroom corner which is where that little liar will certainly stay until she apologizes.

In the Middle Ages, there were guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have an infinitely more efficient torture device – the weighing scale.

The Struggle to Exercise

Yes, I know a few people who love to exercise, but most of us have to force ourselves to workout and may have said something like these funny fitness quotes from fellow dieters.

Funny diet quote about lunch

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.

I exercised once but found that I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that’s why I think of jogging every day. 

Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day. 

humorous weight loss quotes about resistance training
Funny weight loss quote about resistance training

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? 

Giving Up

Do you ever feel like giving up because it an endless battle of the bugle and the bulge always win? Here are some hilarious diet quotes that will help you make that decision.

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago, and well, it actually fit!! Therefore, I am so proud of myself. Who cares if it was a scarf, But still! Let’s be positive.

I’ve decided I’ll never get down to my original weight. I am okay with that. After all, 6lbs, 3 oz, is just not realistic.

The Struggle is Real

You don’t need me to you that when you are on a weight-loss or fitness journey that it is a struggle every day to stay on track. Remember there are others in the same boat as you. Here are some funny weight loss quotes from other dieters.

funny diet quotes
Humorous diet quote

Did you know ‘Diet’ stands for “did I eat that? 

Inside of some of us, there usually is a thin person battling to get out; however, they can usually be sedated by pieces of luscious chocolate cake.

funny weight loss quotes about cupcakes
Funny weight loss quote about cupcakes

Today I bought a cupcake without sprinkles; diet plans are hard.

After I buy cookies, I consume just four and toss the rest away. But first I spray them using Raid, and so I won’t get them out of the garbage afterwards. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn’t taste that bad.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress.

Fitbit/Fitness Tracker

Are you one of those addicted to your Fitbit or fitness tracker? If you are you will love these Fitbit funny fitness quotes.

Funny diet quote

Just added 2,000 steps on my Fitbit wandering the office looking for donuts.

Wearing my Fitbit is like wearing yoga pants, both make me feel sporty even if we both know I slept in bed all day!

The World Around Us

We are surrounded by temptations all the time, no wonder it’s so hard. I think these humorous diet quotes sums up the world around us nicely.

We’re the country that provides more food to eat than any other region in the world, plus with more diets to keep us from consuming it. 

Pinterest: the only place where you can save weight loss tips and how to make chocolate-covered French bread pizza without shame.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books, how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook. 

Justifying Your Choices

Sometimes you need to justify why you just ate the stuff you promise never to eat again. I just usually blame my lack of willpower, but try using one of these hilarious diet quotes when you fall off the wagon.

“You know when you obtain a bag of salad, and it turns all brown and soggy? Cookies don’t do that.

Consumed salad for dinner, largely croutons and tomatoes. Genuinely, only one big round crouton covered with tomato marinade and cheese. FINE! It was pizza. I actually ATE PIZZA. 

Humorous Weight Loss Quotes

I hope you had a good laugh today. We are still coping with a global pandemic and many of us are dealing with the COVID 15 – the 15 pounds (or more) that we have gained during these stressful times. Laughter can help to relieve stress according to the Mayo Clinic

On a serious note, obesity is a risk factor for many conditions including COVID-19. But you only need to take baby steps, one day at a time. You can get healthier by losing just five per cent of your weight. 

Focus on getting healthy and the rest will follow. I still have a lot of weight to lose, but my blood pressure is normal, my cholesterol level is normal, and my blood sugar level is normal. So I am laughing all the way to the scale!

I will leave you with my all-time favorite weight loss diet quote.

humorous weight loss quotes about Thanksgiving
Funny quote about diet and Thanksgiving

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving.

You don’t have to start on Thanksgiving., just start. You can do it, my friend, with diet, exercise, and some laughter.

Do you have a favorite weight loss quote or joke? Let me know in the comments!

30 of the Best Most Humorous Weight Loss Quotes
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12 comments

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Erika Ravnsborg August 17, 2020 - 2:53 pm

LOL! You made my day! This so hilarious. My favorite is “I just added 2000 steps out of my office looking for the donuts.” Thank you for starting my day off right.

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Millie
Millie August 17, 2020 - 5:40 pm

You’re welcome, Erika! I glad I made you laugh today!

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MELANIE EDJOURIAN August 17, 2020 - 9:46 pm

This is great! So many amusing weight loss quotes. It’s true baby steps towards weight loss can make it easier to tackle.

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Millie
Millie August 17, 2020 - 11:47 pm

Thanks, Melanie! Yes, baby steps will eventually turn into big rewards.

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Lyosha August 18, 2020 - 10:24 am

great quotes, each made me smile in a way, however weightloss journey can be fun it is never easy

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Millie
Millie August 18, 2020 - 3:47 pm

Hi Lyosha, I am so glad that I made you smile. You are so right, weight loss is not easy.

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Monidipa August 19, 2020 - 7:12 pm

These are really applicable for me, They are so good. Thanks for putting them up!

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Millie
Millie August 19, 2020 - 9:18 pm

You’re welcome, Monique. I hope you laughed a little today.

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blair villanueva August 21, 2020 - 12:05 am

Some of these quotes make me smile! Oh boy, maybe that’s the reason why I don’t like visiting doctors coz they will stop me for the goodness I enjoy 🙂

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Millie
Millie August 21, 2020 - 3:04 am

Hi Blair, I’m so glad that you smile. That was my goal! I also hated doctors until I finally found one listens to me without judgement.

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Mary September 11, 2020 - 11:07 pm

Great post… I identify with way too many of those quotes.

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Millie
Millie September 12, 2020 - 1:46 am

Hi Mary, I know what you mean! I have quietly made similar comments.

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