Last Updated on February 24, 2022 by Millie
Who doesn’t need a little humor in these challenging times? I have been collecting weight loss quotes for quite some time, and I recently shared my most inspirational quotes. Today I reached into my treasure chest and pulled out the most humorous weight loss quotes. I really need to laugh while on my successful weight loss journey when I lost 80 pounds in 8 months.
Losing weight is hard work and these funny diet motivation quotes will give you a different perspective of a healthy diet and the tough times. ahead.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and we overweight people can use all the free medicine we can get! And we can burn a few calories at the same time! You’re probably not going to meet your fitness goals with these motivational quotes, but you can have a little fun on your way to a healthy weight.
Researchers at Vanderbilt Unversity found that we can burn about 10 – 40 calories laughing for 10-15 minutes. Okay, so that is not a lot of calories, but you are also increasing your heart rate and metabolism. And it is definitely better than crying.
If you like one of these humorous weight loss quotes pins, just hover above it and you will see the pin it button to pin on Pinterest. Also, there are some funny diet quotes that you can tweet directly from the post.
Why is it so hard to diet?
Why is it so hard to eat healthy meals, good habits? We have all been on those diets where all the joy and pleasure was taken out of every meal. A huge part of most diets is restrictive. That’s when you need a little weight loss motivation to take care of your body. If these funny diet quotes speak to you, you have my permission to change your diet!
It’s called diet, because all the other 4-letter words were taken. – Anonymous
A balanced diet is having a cupcake in each hand. – Anonymous
I am just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be 3 tacos, 2 margaritas, and an order of queso. – Unknown
It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit. – Unknown
Depriving yourself will, ironically enough, lead to rebellion and weight gain. – Bethenny Frankel
The cardiologist’s diet: If this tastes good, spit it out. – Anonymous
A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry. – Anonymous
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch. – Hermione Gingold
I tried every diet in the book. I tried some of which weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted far better than most of the diet plans. – Dolly Parton
I followed a diet one time; nonetheless it didn’t follow back again, so I unfollowed it. – Unknown
The Beginning of the Diet
You know when the first few days of your diet are also the last few days? You are always filled with hope at the start of your weight loss program. Each new diet is a fresh start. But starting over is always positive. The following funny weight loss captions will take you back to those good old days!
Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. – Dan Bennett
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. – Irv Kupcinet
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you are off it. – Jackie Gleason
The Love-Hate Relationship with the Scale
The hardest step to get to your goal weight is probably stepping on the scale. When the numbers on the scale are not moving or going in the wrong direction, I get a little joy from these hilarious diet quotes knowing that I am not alone in the struggle.
Imagine the weight you are losing is going to the person you hate. – Unknown
I would lose weight, but I hate losing. – Unknown
Whenever I check my weight I always subtract five pounds. I don’t think a girl’s boobs or brains should ever count against them. – Unknown
I gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu. – Jane Wagner
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is 14 days. – Totie Field
I put the scale within the bathroom corner which is where that little liar will certainly stay until she apologizes. – Unknown
In the Middle Ages, there were guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have an infinitely more efficient torture device – the weighing scale. – Unknown
The Struggle to Exercise
Apparently, there is no such thing as a bad workout. Yes, I know a few people who love to exercise, but most of us have to force ourselves to workout and may have said something like these funny fitness quotes from fellow dieters.
The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back. – Franklin Jones
Fitness is like marriage, you can’t cheat on it and expect it to work. – Bonnie Pfiester
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. – Robert Hutchins
Taking off a sweaty sports bra should count as resistance training. – Unknown
Exercise in the morning … before your body figures out what you’re doing. – Unknown
I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a banging body. – Unknown
Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate. – Charles M. Schulz
I exercised once but found that I was allergic to it. My skin flushed,, and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous. – Unknown
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that’s why I think of jogging every day. – Unknown
Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day. – Unknown
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch. – Anonymous
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? – Anonymous
Do you ever feel like giving up because it is an endless battle of the bugle and the bulge always wins? Here are some funny quotes about diet and exercise that will help you make that decision.
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago, and well, it actually fit!! Therefore, I am so proud of myself. Who cares if it was a scarf, But still! Let’s be positive. – Anonymous
I’ve decided I’ll never get down to my original weight. I am okay with that. After all, 6lbs, 3 oz, is just not realistic. Unknown
The Struggle is Real
You don’t need me to you that when you are on a weight-loss or fitness journey that it is a struggle every day to stay on track. Remember there are others in the same boat as you. Here are some funny thoughts from other dieters.
Did you know ‘Diet’ stands for “did I eat that? – Unknown
A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry. – Anonymous
I wish I was as overweight as the first time I thought I was overweight. – Unknown
Halfway to your weight loss goal. Boobs stick out further than stomach.
There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected. – Unknown
If it’s true “you are what you eat,” – I gonna need to eat a skinny person. – Unknown
Dear stomach, you are bored, not hungry. So shut up! – Anonymous
My advice if you insist on slimming. Eat as much as you like just don’t swallow. – Harry Secombe
Maybe she’s crazy. Maybe she just needs carbs. You just don’t know! – Unknown
Inside me is a thin person struggling to get out; however, I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes. – Miss Piggy
Nutrition Fact: If you drink a gallon of water per day, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated my friends. – Tobi Corley
If it’s true that stress brings on weight loss, then why the heck am I not invisible right now? – Tamara Thomas
The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass. – Margaret Cho
I lied on my Weight Watcher list. I put down that I had three eggs, but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs. – Caroline Rhea
How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, turn your head to the right. Repeat this exercise every time food is offered. – Unknown
Today I bought a cupcake without sprinkles; diet plans are hard. – Unknown
I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress. – Unknown
Are you one of those addicted to your Fitbit or fitness tracker? If you are, you will love these Fitbit funny fitness quotes.
Just added 2,000 steps on my Fitbit wandering the office looking for donuts. – Unknown
Wearing my Fitbit is like wearing yoga pants, both make me feel sporty even if we both know I slept in bed all day! – Unknown
The World Around Us
We are surrounded by temptations all the time, no wonder it’s so hard. I think these humorous diet quotes sums up the world around us nicely.
We’re the country that provides more food to eat than any other region in the world, plus with more diets to keep us from consuming it. – Unknown
Pinterest: the only place where you can save weight loss tips and how to make chocolate-covered French bread pizza without shame. – Unknown
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books, how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook. – Andy Rooney
Justifying Your Choices
Sometimes you need to justify why you just ate the stuff you promise never to eat again. I just usually blame my lack of willpower, but try using one of these hilarious diet quotes when you fall off the wagon.
If we’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge – Unknown
“You know when you obtain a bag of salad, and it turns all brown and soggy? Cookies don’t do that. – Unknown
Consumed salad for dinner, largely croutons and tomatoes. Genuinely, only one big round crouton covered with tomato marinade and cheese. FINE! It was pizza. I actually ATE PIZZA. – Kevin Hart
Humorous Weight Loss Quotes
I hope you had a good laugh today. We are still coping with a global pandemic and many of us are dealing with the COVID 15 – the 15 pounds (or more) that we have gained during these stressful times. Laughter can help to relieve stress according to the Mayo Clinic.
On a serious note, obesity is a risk factor for many conditions, including COVID-19. But you only need to take baby steps, one day at a time. You can get healthier by losing just five per cent of your weight.
The only real answer to better health is diet and exercise. The first step is the hardest but you can do it. You can have a healthy lifestyle and achieve your weight loss goals.
Focus on getting healthy, and the rest will follow. I still have a lot of weight to lose, but my blood pressure is normal, my cholesterol level is normal, and my blood sugar level is normal. So I am laughing all the way to the scale!
You can do it, my friend, with diet, exercise, and some laughter.
Do you have a favorite weight loss quote or joke? Let me know in the comments!